Arrested man helps police to get their car out of the snow.

What a gentle man he is. i wonder why he has been arrested.

If i was arrested i wouldn’t help police.

i hope his help was appreciated and the police let him go.

Please like and share.

Arrested man helps police to get their car out of the snow.

What a gentle man.

Joke of the day #1

I stopped at a friend’s house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: ‘Yeah, three males and two females.’ Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: ‘Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.’

Joke of the day #2

A group of chess enthusiasts were kicked out of a hotel reception for discussing their winning games. The manager can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Joke of the day #3

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I’ve come out in spots like cherries on a cake. Doctor: Ah, you must have analogy.

joke of the day #4

A man goes to the vet about his dog’s fleas. The vet says: ‘I’m sorry, I’ll have to put this dog down.’ The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: ‘Because he’s far too heavy.’

Joke of the day #5

One of the highest-rated jokes in Germany: ‘Why is television called a medium? Because it is neither rare nor well done.’

Joke of the day #6

Another which had the Germans in stitches: It involved a lengthy description of how to tell the weather by placing your dog outside the back door and examining the state of its fur.

It ends: ‘Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Sincerely, the cat.’

Joke of the day #7

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”

The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”

“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :

“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”

Joke of the day #8

So the Pope is SUPER early for his flight.

He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn’t driven a car since becoming the pope.

Naturally, he’s a bit rusty, so he’s driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope “Hold on for a minute,” and goes back to his car to radio the chief.

Cop: “Chief we have a situation. I’ve pulled over an important figure.”

Chief: “How important? A governor or something?”

Cop: “No sir. He’s bigger.”

Chief: “So, what? a celebrity or something?”

Cop: “More important, sir.”

Chief: “A major politician?”

Cop: “No sir, he’s much more important.”

Chief: “WELL WHO IS IT!?”

Cop: “Well actually I’m not sure. But the pope’s his driver.”

 

Here are 25 of best British Jokes by British artists.

  1. “I’ve been single for so long now, when somebody says to me, ‘Who are you with?’, I automatically say: ‘Vodafone.’”

Miranda Hart

2 “I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”

Peter Kay

  1. “A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits.”

Tim Vine

  1. “I thought when I was 41, I would be married with kids. Well, to be honest I thought I would be married with weekend access.”

Sean Hughes

  1. “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”

Rob Auton

  1. “I lost my virginity very late. When it finally happened, I wasn’t so much deflowered as deadheaded.”

Holly Walsh

  1. “I’m sure wherever my dad is he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

Jack Whitehall

  1. “Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?”

Dan Antopolski

  1. “Try shoving an ice-cube down your wife’s front at night. ‘There’s the chest freezer you wanted.’”

Ken Dodd

  1. “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”

Stewart Francis

  1. “Most of us have a skeleton in the cupboard. David Beckham takes his out in public.”

Andrew Laurence

  1. “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

Tim Vine

  1. “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

Nick Helm

  1. “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad.’”

Lou Sander

  1. “I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like.”

Pippa Evans

  1. “I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.”

Alfie Moore

  1. “A sewage farm. In what way is it a farm? Is there a farm shop?”

Jack Dee

  1. “There are only two conditions where you’re allowed to wake up a woman on a lie-in. It’s snowing or the death of a celebrity.”

Michael McIntyre

  1. “For boys, puberty is like turning into the Incredible Hulk – but very, very slowly.”

John Bishop

  1. A big girl once came up to me after a show and said ‘I think you’re fatist.’ I said ‘No. I think you’re fattest.’

Jimmy Carr

  1. “In the Bible, God made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights. That’s a pretty good summer for us in Wales. That’s a hosepipe ban waiting to happen. I was eight before I realised you could take a kagoule off.”

Rhod Gilbert

  1. “No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He’s been dining off ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ for 30 years.”

Russell Brand

  1. ‘Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.’

Bill Bailey

  1. “Dogs don’t love you. They’re just glad they don’t live in China.”

Romesh Ranganathan

  1. “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.