Written by Taran Bassi
As if being a girl isn’t a struggle enough (periods, high heels and dating disasters) there is an entire world of separate struggles for British Asian girls.
Daily life is nowhere near as glam as Bollywood would have you believe.
So it’s really not all amazing food, colourful saris and eyeliners flicks.
Instead it’s more about having a visible monobrow and desperately trying to avoid the smell of spicy Indian food sticking to your clothes and hair.
Here’s 13 struggles only British Asian girls understand.
- Hair removal You’re amazed at how quick it all grows back, and how frequent your trips are to get at least something threaded or waxed.
On the plus side your eyebrows are always fierce.
Also, let’s take a moment to reflect on the teasing you experience in primary school before you discovered hair removal.
- The awkward moment you explain to relatives that you are picking a creative subject for a degree
There’s always a moment of silence when you drop the bombshell that you’ll be studying English Lit, not medicine.
- The love/hate relationship with tanning
You dance a dangerous dance by being in the sun and risking your grandparents’ outrage when they see your hard-earned tan.
Or alternatively you sit on the beach wrapped in a towel, big sunglasses and a hat looking so awkward.
- Bollywood (part one)
Everyone will assume that you have the skills to head up a 100-person dance routine at any given time.
In reality you’re still trying to figure out what twerking is.
- Bollywood (part two)
You don’t really fancy sitting down and watching one musical that lasts four hours.
That’s easily four episodes of Breaking Bad. Go figure.
- No-one can ever pronounce your name correctly
You dreaded substitute teachers, and now you dread job interviews.
Or actually most situations when you have to break down your name by syllable.
7. Never being able to buy anything with your name on
Personalised headband? Personalised stickers? Personalised key ring?
Ha! Keep dreaming. Gift shops during primary school trips were the worst.
- Everyone expects you to be an amazing cook
Butter chicken? Perfectly round rotis? No.
Your Indian food speciality is Pot Noodle Bombay Bad Boy.
Don’t pin it tightly and you know it will slowly unravel and expose your Bridget Jones-style knickers to the whole world.
And forget about comfortably using the toilet.
- The marriage quest
It was easier for Frodo to destroy the ring in LOTR than for you to successfully discuss why you won’t be getting married any time soon.
- THAT childhood trip to India/ Pakistan/ Bangladesh
Never as much fun as parents promised, and always resulted in a disastrous bout of food poisoning, forcing you to eat crisps for the remainder of the trip.
- Everyone assuming you’re amazingly bi-lingual
No one knows that you have no idea how to speak any sort of Asian language. Oh, and you also failed GCSE Spanish.
- Wearing out your version of Bend it like Beckham.
You wanted to be Jess so bad, plus you connected on a deeper level with her inability to cook aloo gobi. Sadly, your football skills weren’t as good.